Yes Mom
by sailordarke
Summary: It's just you, your brother, and sunrise over Notre Dame. Unfortunately, a ringing cell phone disturbs any notion of pushing said brother down stone steps. It's your mother. What do you do?
1. Roxas: Yes Mom

**Title**: Yes Mom

**Rating**: PG (rated for mild swearing)

**Genre**: General/Humor

**Pairing**(s): none; Soriku and Roxiku if you squint

**Disclaimer**: Of course I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

**Summary**: It's just you, your brother, and sunrise over Notre Dame. Unfortunately, a ringing cell phone disturbs any notion of pushing said brother down stone steps. It's your mother. What _do _you do?

* * *

Yes Mom, we made it. No, the plane did not crash land in Egypt. Mom, that's the complete other direction. Yes, I'm pretty sure the pilot knew how to get here. No, radar did not go on the glitch!

Yes Mom, the car was there waiting for us. No, the driver was a man. I don't know what his name was! Yeah, blonde, right. Older guy. No, not as old as Grandpa! Too old for you, though; and I think he was married.

Yes Mom, I know. You don't chase after _every _guy you see. (Just most of them.) Yes Mom.

Yes Mom, Notre Dame _is _beautiful. Yes, we're there right now. Sora insisted that we wake up in time to catch the sunrise over the church.

He says hi, by the way.

All right, I'll tell him. No, he's all right. Yeah, he--oh no, he just did--No Mom, he's fine. (Stupid brother.) Yes, he just tripped. He says that you don't need to worry. No Mom, there's no blood. He didn't even tear a hole in his jeans. Yes Mom.

_Wow_. That's blue.

No, Mom, I'm talking about the stained glass. Yes Mom, stained glass, not your--What the hell do you think you're doing? _I'm _talking right now; you just wait your turn! (Stupid brother.)

No Mom, he just wanted to talk to you about--Yeah. No, you don't have to send them; he packed enough sugar in his bag I'm surprised the plane even took off. No, he doesn't need any more cookies. I swear. (Shut up, idiot! I'm talking to Mom!)

Huh? Really? What did they come there for? I thought that Sora told them that we were staying here for break. What did they want? What? Really? And you actually let them in the house?

No, I get it. I--ah, damn it Sora...

_Wow_. Mom, you just won't believe this. Sora just fell down the stairs. Who _cares _if he's okay or not? This guy just showed up out of nowhere--silver hair, Mom, that can't be natural--and...No, I'm pretty sure that he's about our age. Sora just turned bright red; you should see his face.

No, I forgot my camera.

_Wow_. Mom, he brought friends. I gotta go, maybe one of them's single.

* * *

**Note**: This is an old fic that I wrote while coloring another artist's lineart a long time ago...my Mom reminded me of it just a few minutes ago in a phone call from the hospital, and I read it again and laughed as much as I did when I was writing it, and I decided to post it here for you to read (though it was already on my LJ). I may add a sequel for Riku's call to _his_ mother and Sora calling his mother back begging for more cookies.

Of course, if you want to hear anyone else's phone conversation with their mothers, you're free to request.


	2. Riku: Mom, Listen to Me

**Title**: Mom, Listen to Me

**Rating**: PG

**Genre**: General/Humor

**Pairing(s)**: none

**Disclaimer**: Of course I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

**Summary**: You're at Paris on a school trip. Your mother thinks you're a gangster fleeing the country. And your best friend gets caught climbing out a warehouse window, well after hours.

* * *

Mom?

...What? No. _No_, Mom. Mom? Listen to me. This is not "fleeing the country;" it's called a school field trip. People everywhere have them. It's perfectly normal. Mom. Mom? Listen to me.

Axel is _not _a gangster. I swear. He's a math teacher. Gangsters do not flee to Paris just to check out Notre Dame.

Do _all _math teachers look alike? All that leather's just a quirk of his. He's perfectly normal. (At least mostly.) Promise.

Would you quit freaking out on me?

Oh, come on, do you have to give the phone to--oh. Hi, Dad.

No, I really have no idea what happened. Hell. Really?

Oh, yeah. Sorry.

So they actually came over...? What did you say?

I am so sorry.

What do you...? You seriously think that I had _anything _to do with that? I have no idea what Seifer was doing there. Come on, it is _so _obvious that Leonhart was the one who called the cops. You know they hate each other. I'll bet you anything Yuffie (the ninja bitch) was involved somehow.

...Dad, this is not "rivalry." I am not "overreacting." They seriously hate each other.

Yeah, yeah, I know. You'd rather listen to Mr Perfect than your only son. Excuse me if I thought, I dunno, that you'd actually believe me. (Though it's not like you ever have before.)

Whatever.

What? No, I'm not sulking. _God_.

Fine, yeah. _Yes_. Sorry.

(Y'see, _this _is why Mom thinks I'm a gangster. Why in _hell _am I talking to this bastard again?)

What the--hold it, Dad. Someone just...

Ouch. That _had _to hurt. This kid just did a faceplant down the steps of Notre Dame, a la Disney's _Hunchback_. Hold up.

You okay, kid? (God, he can't be much more than ten...)

Holy...

Are those things real?

What? I meant your eyes. They're...really, really blue.

...

Sora, huh? So that's your name. You all right? Sora.

Oh yeah. Dad, I have to...

(Holy shit, there's two of them.)

...go.

_So. You two live around here...?

* * *

_

**Note**: I wrote this a while ago, and stuck it on my LJ. Only getting around to uploading it now. I still have a lot of writing projects to work on, but if you want to hear more phone conversations, please request.


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